Maybe you’ve had this thought before. Like, you wake up one day and feels a sudden urge to disappear. It’s not exactly something that you would have reasons to. If someone asks why would you do it, you wouldn’t know what’s the most right thing to come up with as the answer. You just feel like it. I just feel like it. If i were a bird, i’d spread my wings and escape to places i’ve never been before. Or if i happen to live in Hogwarts, i’d stole the Elder Wand and turn myself into a really small creature. Small enough to hide myself amongst the ancient books in the library on the first floor of Hogwarts Castle. I’ve always loved libraries. But i’m not trying to avoid people — though that is what it might look like. I just want to be alone. I want to hear my thoughts. It has been a while since i last listened to them. But the thing is, once i indulge myself in solitary, the pleasure intensifies and it becomes more comforting by time. Gradually, i started to become less dependant on others. Isolating oneself from crowd is like consuming drugs. The correct amount shall bring you peace and keep you sane. But too much of solitude makes you… float. In an open space. At least that’s how i feel. It would be thrilling and fun at first but then i wouldn’t know when or how to stop. I’d spun around in an infinite whirlpool, reaching to emptiness; to nothingness. It stays like that until i feel a subtle touch. Or maybe a warm embrace. And then i look up and found myself wrapped around the arms of people i love — my sisters, my dear friends. That’s how i know that i’m back on Earth again. And so i thought that’s why choosing the right people into your life matters greatly. Because those are the people that would be around, either to blindly please you and keep giving you drugs; or to anchor you on the solid ground and remind you softly when to stop.
Wildflower 